If you've spent any time online looking me up, you may have come across articles or discussions about me from many years ago. Rather than pretend they don't exist, I want to acknowledge them directly.

In 2013, during one of the darkest periods of my life, I caused harm. I had experienced the end of an engagement, lost my job, my closest friend died, and then my father died in rapid succession. I was drinking far more than I should have been, and I wasn't showing up as the person I wanted to be. 

I was struggling in ways I didn't fully understand at the time, working with suicidal ideation. None of that excuses what happened, but it is part of the context.

I wrote about this in my latest book, and addressed it on podcasts, but in the spirit of transparency I want to name something here too. There was one person—a friend, not a meditation student or someone over whom I held professional authority—with whom I had a sexual encounter. The following morning, she told me the experience had re-triggered trauma for her. We spent that day talking, I apologized, and I later offered mediation. My understanding is that all of this is on record by her account. There are details I remember differently, but I'm not writing this to relitigate or contradict someone else's experience.

I spent the years since doing the personal work of therapy, reflection, mentoring, and changing how I move through the world. I stopped drinking the way I had been and became much more intentional about boundaries, communication, and how I conduct myself in every area of my life. That work began 13 years ago.

I also want to clarify one point that has sometimes been misunderstood: the person involved was not my meditation student or someone over whom I held professional authority. She was a friend. That distinction matters to me, even as I recognize that the impact she experienced matters too.

I don't ask anyone to ignore what they've read or simply take my word for who I am. I only ask to be judged by the whole of my life rather than the worst chapter of it.

For more than two decades I've dedicated my life to helping people suffer less through meditation, writing, and community. That work has never required me to be perfect, but it has required me to keep growing. I intend to keep doing that for the rest of my life. I have made mistakes. I have learned from them. I believe people are capable of real change, partly because I've had to do that work myself.

One reason I've loved the X-Men since I was a kid is that they believe identity isn't fixed. Characters fail, hurt each other, lose their way, and sometimes become versions of themselves they're not proud of. What matters is whether they learn, take responsibility, and keep trying to become better. That's the spirit I hope this project reflects.

I know some people will read this and decide they don't want to engage with my work. That's their right.

I don't ask for a free pass, and I don't ask anyone to ignore difficult parts of my history. I only ask to be judged by the whole of my life, including the work I've done over the last thirteen years to become a better human being.

If you have questions, I'd rather have a conversation than leave you with rumors or headlines.